Headline: "The 9 Most Overlooked Threats to a Marriage"
I keep telling myself that I will stop reading the comments on stories because they tend to be so awful--and generally I'm doing a better job of it--but sometimes I still sneak a peak. After reading this story I did just that and, again, was sorry for doing so.
In this case the type of awful comment that seems to prevail is a version of "this bit of professional advice/insight is wrong because my view of my life is different." Ugh. This is the same flawed style of thinking that has people denying global warming because it's cold today in the place where they happen to live.
An individual experience or single set of circumstances can never be a stand-in for something larger. In addition, our biases and faulty memories work against our being able to accurately and fully account for conclusions we reach on our own.
I think we all have a tendency to protect the view we've developed of ourselves. It's a form of self-defense. This habit has the unfortunate effect of often having us being unable to even consider not only challenges to our self-formed view but our placement of that created self within macro-humanity.
When coming across information or advice that seems to be a challenge to one's self, getting overly self-defensive shouldn't be a considered reaction. Instead, we should realize the non-universality of the human individual in order to not be our own roadblock to a greater understanding of our existence, the existence of others, and the existence of humanity as a whole.
Deploying a stand your ground self-defense mechanism does not provide the benefit desired. Instead, an opportunity to gain a more knowledge and wisdom gets destroyed.
I keep telling myself that I will stop reading the comments on stories because they tend to be so awful--and generally I'm doing a better job of it--but sometimes I still sneak a peak. After reading this story I did just that and, again, was sorry for doing so.
In this case the type of awful comment that seems to prevail is a version of "this bit of professional advice/insight is wrong because my view of my life is different." Ugh. This is the same flawed style of thinking that has people denying global warming because it's cold today in the place where they happen to live.
An individual experience or single set of circumstances can never be a stand-in for something larger. In addition, our biases and faulty memories work against our being able to accurately and fully account for conclusions we reach on our own.
I think we all have a tendency to protect the view we've developed of ourselves. It's a form of self-defense. This habit has the unfortunate effect of often having us being unable to even consider not only challenges to our self-formed view but our placement of that created self within macro-humanity.
When coming across information or advice that seems to be a challenge to one's self, getting overly self-defensive shouldn't be a considered reaction. Instead, we should realize the non-universality of the human individual in order to not be our own roadblock to a greater understanding of our existence, the existence of others, and the existence of humanity as a whole.
Deploying a stand your ground self-defense mechanism does not provide the benefit desired. Instead, an opportunity to gain a more knowledge and wisdom gets destroyed.
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