The End of Rape Strategy Debate

There is a current protest going on that pushes the idea that says "instead of teaching women not to be raped we should teach men not to rape.” This simple idea seems workable, but it's too simplistic—and dangerous—to be useful if taken literally.

There are several similar examples that can help shed light on why this idea is problematic, but perhaps the one that's most timely is the race issue that's come up again in the wake of the Ferguson, MO shooting of a black teenager by a white cop. If the thinking behind the anti-rape strategy was strong, then we should also consider its value in a race-based framework. But it would be difficult to find people who would be in favor of telling people who are victims of violent racism to not pay attention to steps they can take that will mitigate their chances of being victimized. While we need to keep focused on stopping the actions of rapists and racists, the need remains for their potential victims to take defensive steps.

Other examples that help to drive home the point include things that range from terrorist activities to motorcycle riders. Would it be reasonable to teach motorcycle riders to pay less attention to defensive tactics and, instead, teach other drivers on the road to stop running into them? For reasons of simple safety, teaching motorcyclists to take actions that reduce their risk of being hit by a car or truck is simply smart and necessary. It's not fair that motorcyclists are disproportionate victims of the actions of other drivers, but what purpose is served to argue against precautions? Similarly, for people who travel to countries where terrorist beheadings take place, I doubt anyone would advise people to not take precautions against being targeted by terrorists who do this.

We should accept that humans do awful things to one another and efforts to improve our behaviors need long-term and short-term strategies. To try and label one of them as detrimental doesn't seem prudent. It would be similar to not taking steps to mitigate the current condition of those suffering from a debilitating illness until a cure is found.

When it comes to rape, some may argue that it's ridiculous to think that all men can't be educated in a way that none of them will rape someone. Unfortunately, I'm not sure this is ever going to be true. While I don't have proof of this notion, it is a gut feeling that comes from my life as a man. For those who are not men, let me try and explain.

Just as a woman will notice things about other women that men will overlook or miss, it is also true that men notice things about other men that women don't notice. This ability/disability is not only true for genders, but for other groups that include professions (i.e. police, airline pilots, musicians, teachers, truck drivers, clergy, etc.) and cultures (people from Papua New Guinea will not  know why people from New York behave the way they do). Being a [fill in the blank] gives each of us the ability to know things about others who are also [fill in the blank] that others won't know. 

Because of this, and history itself, I think it's reasonable to claim that it is an unfortunate truth that some men have within them the very real potential to commit rape. Men are much more likely to “understand” this truth and notice its potential danger. But because the vast majority of us also tend to be protective of women by default, we find it hard to agree with the argument that reduces the importance for women to reduce their risk. This is why so many fathers are more protective of their daughters than their sons and do cringe when they see women express attitudes that seem to ignore the danger we know exists. 

Yes, it's totally unfair, but until we live in a much different world (which may never happen), the practical steps of reducing the risk of getting raped are just smart.