The Pain of Self

In a recent review of the book Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect the an observation of the author plays into an idea similar to something I've often said about how everyone's identity of the self is more than just about the physical body. The author's quote:

"We intuitively believe social and physical pain are radically different kinds of experiences, yet the way our brains treat them suggests that they are more similar than we imagine."

 I think it is important for us to realize that we identify who we our--our self--as something more intricate and connected to everything else than we realize. When we accept that changes to any of the things we assign as being part of the self can be as traumatic as a physical change that comes through things like accidents or diseases. It helps to explain quite a bit of our behavior if we look at our self-defense mechanisms as being more broadly in play than we usually think. When we lose anything we've designated as part of the self (or it is radically altered) or it is threatened, there is little relevant difference in how we act when compared to a physical attack.