Some potential headlines for "The Onion":
Woman refuses to share "greatest idea ever" with boss until GMO-free snacks are added to the break room
City bus driver never fails to squeeze in one more passenger
Local man issues formal apology to 49ers for losing lucky shirt that was source of their success
OR
Local man makes a fortune betting against home team after losing lucky shirt.
Woman refuses to share "greatest idea ever" with boss until GMO-free snacks are added to the break room
City bus driver never fails to squeeze in one more passenger
Local man issues formal apology to 49ers for losing lucky shirt that was source of their success
OR
Local man makes a fortune betting against home team after losing lucky shirt.
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